Bad Youtuber book reviews. First of all, there’s Girl Online. A reviewer says that she doesn’t even deserve one star. That’s super nice of them, huh? This person says that they employed a ghost reader to read Zoella’s book. Which, you know, is a playoff on the reality that she didn’t even write the book herself. The problem is: she pretended that she did. You know, hence why her name’s on the cover. I think that they call that fraud, or at least lying. Apparently, even though Zoella hired a ghost writer, her book was still cliche and boring. That’s gotta be embarrassing. Someone told Zoella to not quite her day job. Trust me, i’m pretty sure Zoella didn’t plan to quite her day job and become a, um… “not-writer.” *bah* You like those brains? Well, too bad. *bah* Then there’s this person I’ve never heard of. Apparently, there are reviewers complaining about her book being defective. That’s not her fault, you jerk. Oh, look at this little ninja. Ninjas dead. Then there’s Grace’s book. Someone says that because she admitted that she wrote it in a month, people shouldn’t buy it. Oh, my bad homie. I didn’t realize being a fast writer meant you sucked. Stephen King must be a terrible author. Here Stephen King is saying no matter how long the book, it shouldn’t take more than three months. So you can shut the hell up now. Die! You too! Apparently, Grace’s book was “terribly disappointing.” Another person saying that is was obvious that it thrown together quickly, and that there wasn’t a lot of depth to it. Well you know what? At least she wrote it. Brace yourselves. Here comes Phil and Dan. This person says that they’re a disappointed fan. That sucks. It’s one thing if you get a bad review from a hater. But a fan wants to like you. So what are you doing wrong? They say that the book was so disappointing and it didn’t really add anything to the experience of Dan and Phil. This person says, “Parents do your daughters a favor, and help find other people for your girls to idolize and emulate.” What’s wrong with Dan and Phil? They’re both very likable guys. They then say take ten minutes to watch Dan and Phil before you waste money on this book. You know you don’t have to be a dick right? Like, it’s optional. Oh, you’re still alive? That’s a shame. *Bah* Then there’s Miranda Sing’s book. They say that is was meant to be funny, but it’s inappropriate for children. It’s a shame that it’s inappropriate for children, considering that’s the majority of her audience, right? Another person saying “this is very inappropriate for children.” Gosh, Miranda, what kind of porno are you showing these kids? Is Miranda Sings a pedophile? Showing children inappropriate things. Hashtag Miranda Sings is a pedophile. A person said that it’ so full of inappropriate trash, that they had to have a conversation with their child. Yet another person says it’s not suitable for fans. Because apparently, Miranda doesn’t know the age of her own goddamn audience. I’ll give you a hint, Miranda. It’s available on “YouTube Analytics.” Like, I know the majority of my audience is 18-24 females. And I know females tend to not like first-person shooters, so… fuck it. Jesus. A ridiculous amount of parents are saying her book it trash. Seems like Miranda needs to take a child sensitivity course. A reality you gotta face YouTubers: when your videos mostly just entertain children, you gotta write books for children. *Bap* *Buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh* Then there’s this chick. Never heard of her. Apparently, her cook book it full of junk recipes. In other words: she showed her audience her appreciation, by giving them the gift of diabetes. Apparently, the book just repeats the same recipe over and over again. Which, you know, is super stupid. Why not just google the recipes, yo. Then there’s a book called “A Work In Progress.” Well at least they’re honest about their book’s potential crappiness. This person was a fan. And apparently they’re upset because the book sucked. It’s always sad when a fan turns their back on you. You know, because you’re a terrible author. Another person saying Connor’s book is so bad, it makes them cringe. This person says they watched the videos of Connor, said they were drivel. Okay, so why the hell are you reading his book if you don’t like the guy? You’re stupid. Apparently, this book was boring; and Connor Franta had a super bland upbringing. Woohoo! Generic life. Take the shot. Hurrhhh. And… he’s down Shane Dawson’s “I Hate Myselfie.” Well at least if someone hates his book he’ll agree with
them. This review says “Mediocre at best.” Apparently he didn’t reread the book. So I guess he just released the first draft. Mad respect, yo. I believe this person is implying Shane Dawson ripped off someone. Which is quite a bold accusation. But I suppose ripping someone off is better than saying you wrote a book that you didn’t write. This person says it’s rubbish. This person says Shane is a mediocre talent. Aren’t we all? This person says, “Think the written word equivalent of an atom bomb vaporizing an entire community.” What’s that word? Like, genocide or something? Then there’s Joey Graceffa, who I heard came out as gay in this book. “Sorry guys, if you wanna find out i’m gay, you gotta buy my book.” One person says boring. The next person says nothing special and that he doesn’t have enough writing talent and make the book interesting all the way through. What was his book like? “Day one: I was born a white boy… … I have a lot of first-world problems and now I make a crap load of money releasing vlogs.” “Isn’t that great!” Ahhhhhh! Ahhhhh! Yeah i’m gonna nut in your freaking bullet holes. Then there’s “This Book Loves You” which I guess had a lot of people lining up so they could get the first copies. Talk about people with literally
nothing better to do. Well hopefully the book was actually worth it. Oh, apparently the book was not worth it. I guess Pewdiepie wrote a book not for his audience.
You know, kids. But shout out to dumb parents. You realize he cusses and does things in his videos all the time that’s totally inappropriate, right? My point is you that you should know what your kids are watching. “My granddaughter is a fan of his. This book is rude, not funny.” “I was quite surprised at the negativity of the content.” Why, did he walk about how much he hates barrels? Another person saying Pewdiepie was extremely negative. And you know what, that’s kind of weird considering he’s a multi-millionaire. You’d think in all your friggin wealth you could find a little positivity. This guy probably has kids that are about to start crying. “Daddy! Dad, no!” Yeah, daddie’s about to get a clip unloaded in him too, look at this kids. *buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh…* No open casket funeral for your daddy. This book is also apparently a huge waste of money. Someone’s upset because people are
comparing this J.K. Rowling even though… …basically the book is just a buncha
quotes that are trying to be passed off as black humor. Then of course, because he’s Pewdiepie, it’s called “literary genius.” Yeah that’s the benefit of popularity. You don’t have to be talented, people just have to like you. Time to die, sunno. Stabby, stab stab. Then there’s Tyler Oakley’s book, where he allegedly joked about date rape. “Hey guys, isn’t date rape funny?” It’s just more parents who are super upset that their kids bought an inappropriate book from an inappropriate person, and they had no idea. I tell you YouTubers, that’s what you get for having a young audience. Meanwhile, I got a bunch of legal bitches watching me. Booyah! This person says, “I’m a dumbass. And I didn’t know Tyler Oakley was so inappropriate, so I bought this book for my twelve year old.” And then you’re gonna leave a negative review because you’re a dumbass. Apparently, some people pre-ordered this book expecting to get it signed. I guess Tyler Oakley didn’t follow through with scribbling on it. So now fans feel betrayed. Thats why you don’t promise shit, Tyler. Gosh, Tyler. *gun noises* Your kids are so sad right now. This person says Tyler Oakley isn’t funny and doesn’t have any special talents. Welcome to YouTube. Can I get a “duh men.” And yet another person claiming that a YouTuber book is super boring. Guys, you should’ve done what I did. Put sex, horrible crimes, graphic violence and other intensely tragic things in your book. That way people wouldn’t want to call you boring. That’s why people who review my book one-star say things like, “Was not expecting the Freddy Krueger cameo or outrageous bestiality scene.” They also say on page 27 at the bottom, you can totally see Greg’s nudes if you squint. I will not confirm nor deny these
allegations. Someone said apparently the main character has mind reading powers, and magically knows everyone’s intentions and thought too. The fuck are you talking about? Someone obviously didn’t read the book. It didn’t mention Freddy Krueger at all. Then someone reviewed my book “Stones to Abbigale” saying, “As an aspiring author…” The hell does that mean? “Aspiring author.” So you’re not an author; aka, a regular person. “As a regular person, I find this book to almost be on the brink of offensive…” And then, as usual, they’re questioning my grammar; because you know, I didn’t hire an editor, or ghostwriter. Anyhow, that’s YouTuber books in a nutshell. Now enjoy me unloading a clip in my surroundings.